Male masturbation has been around for as long as we humans have had ways to record ourselves masturbating. It’s in any number of depictions from ancient cultures, including the Sumerians, ancient Egyptians, and the Indian Hindus. While the cultural perception of masturbation changes over time and differs between countries, masturbation itself is a natural activity that can lead to introspection and a greater sense of connectedness with yourself.
If you’re interested in learning how to masturbate for men and penis-owners to take your hand technique to the next level in your sex life, read on and get some newfound ideas for getting both your heads in the right space ;).
What is male masturbation?
Male masturbation is a form of solo sex for men and people with penises. Basically, it involves stimulation of the sexual organs specifically for sexual pleasure. It can be penile stimulation or prostate stimulation (if you’ve got one of those). Let’s check out some just-the-tips!
1. Set the mood
When it comes to sexuality, while a lot of focus tends to be on actual body parts, a whole lot of arousal is mental. Lean into that by creating fun, sexy spaces to venture into solo pleasure. In many modern cultures, women/vulva owners are often expected to engage in the emotional labor of generating a romantic space for a couple. Still, it’s just as important for men/penis-havers to do this for themselves.
It’s easiest to orgasm when relaxed, so go ahead and light some candles, put on that playlist you love, and make the room’s ambient air the temperature that gets your heart racing just a little.
Practice this for yourself, and know that it’ll also be a great way to familiarize yourself with setting up a sexy space for an added special guest at some point.
2. Switch positions
There’s more than one way to massage a cucumber. If you always reach for the same masturbation position, do something nice for yourself and switch it up for a night. Some easy positions to masturbate in are: in a sitting position (on a bed or chair), standing (this one really lets you get your glutes into it), or laying back on a bed, like you’re being ridden. Mmmm...
3. Take your time
Sometimes a quickie is needed, but being able to savor in your own sexual pleasure is a luxury worth cultivating. Slowing down your pleasure ramp is a great way to get it to launch to greater levels. This doesn’t have to just be in the pacing of your strokes; you can also adjust your rate of breathing to enhance your orgasm.
4. Switch hands
Your non-dominant hand can get you there too, and might offer a different range of sensations — even feeling like someone else is giving you a hand job!
With so many devices being a part of the masturbation routine, it can also be easier to use your main hand to operate your phone while your off-hand gets you off.
5. Try different strokes
Different strokes for different folks? You know it. Masturbating in a variety of different ways and changing up patterns when you start to feel your orgasm building can be a great way to increase the pleasure of your pleasure practice. Sometimes it’s fun to just rub one out, but a prolonged masturbation experience can both feel good and also be inherently healing.
Having all those pleasure hormones hanging around your system can boost your mood, reduce your stress levels, lower your risk of prostate cancer, even give you better skin. Build your orgasm in as many different ways as you can so that if you’re capable of doing so, your cock explodes like lava out the top of a volcano. (More on this in edging.)
Speaking of strokes, male masturbators and lube are extremely helpful in getting everything to joyfully slip’ n’ slide down there. In the same vein, excessive masturbation sans lube can lead to rough or flakey skin and a rug burn sensation. Lube (not lotion, by the way — actual lube) can help combat this problem if you’re experiencing it.
6. Don’t just focus on the penis
Other parts of your body need lovin’, too. Your thighs, ass, neck, and ears are all common hyper-sensitive zones. Bringing them into the mix with light, gentle touches, or a firm touch can enhance everything else.
7. Explore other erogenous zones
Sensuality has a place in masturbation too. The stimulation of other parts of your body can help to build your orgasm, hold it for longer, and increase your sense of sensuality with yourself.
8. Don’t forget the prostate
The vast majority of people born with penises also have a prostate at birth, and thus have access to prostate-based anal orgasms. In fact, some prostate owners report having multiple orgasms at a time from prostate play.
For prostate-havers, the prostate gland is located 2-3 inches up the anal canal. It’s able to be stimulated with a gloved or well-trimmed finger (seriously — keep sharp edges out of the rectum) by inserting your finger through the anal opening. The prostate itself is a harder, walnut-shaped tissue located just under the bladder, and consistent massaging of it can be extremely pleasurable. It can even lead to an intense orgasm and sometimes the release of prostate fluids.
In fact, prostate massage and prostate milking aren’t solely sex acts, but are also used by medical health professionals to treat prostatitis, so you should definitely milk your own prostate gland. It’s for health, you guys!
By the way, you might be familiar with some masturbation myths or questions like “does masturbation cause hair loss” or “does masturbation cause acne,” but the truth is that there is no scientific evidence to support most of them.
9. Try edging
Some of the body’s most intense orgasms come from a steady and consistent build of pleasure, approaching the orgasmic brink, falling back a little, and repeating that cycle. Welcome to the world of edging! Solo play through edging can help you have a satisfying release of built up sexual tension and can lead to a more intense orgasm, but it takes a little practice to get right. You have to know your own “point of no return,” so to speak, and be able to balance on the edge of that limit by altering your strokes and changing the way you touch yourself.
Edging as a practice, either in mutual masturbation or solo play, can also help with premature ejaculation. This is because when you teach yourself how to bring yourself back from that pleasure brink, you can also last longer with your boo.
10. Add a sex toy or two
Toys aren’t just for vulva/female masturbation. Penis-havers can and should use sex toys to increase the level of joy they get from their pleasure practices. There are toys that mimic things like inserting your cock into a woman’s vulva doggie style if that’s what you’re into (such as the male masturbator), as well as male vibrator toys, toys that go all up into that rectum if you like that, and a masturbation sleeve that can enhance the stroking sensations you may have engaged in solely with your hands thus far.
11. There’s more than just porn videos
While visual internet porn is extremely popular and can have value in some ways, it’s important to know that this kind of porn can also have you tie your orgasm to unrealistic sex. Not only do online videos often show unrealistic body parts (like cocks that are far bigger than average, which isn’t, ya know, great for self-esteem), but they also tend to emphasize solely genital-focused touch.
What’s good to know is that there’s more than just visual-based porn out there! Companies like Dispea, for example, offer audio-based porn, many of which are actually user-generated. There are also many different varieties, from solo sex instructional to role-play audios.
There’s also fiction and non-fiction erotica to tantalize your mind from online forums such as reddit.com/gonewildstories.
And, of course, you can call from your own previous pleasurable experiences to help you get over that pleasure peak!
12. Orgasm doesn’t have to be the goal
Masturbation of a non-fully-erect penis can still be quite pleasurable and should be included in any discussion of sexual play. Similarly, a partner playing with a non-erect cock can be super fun! It doesn’t have to be hard to be valuable, and you don’t have to be hard to be valuable. When you think of male masturbation, you likely associate it with the “end goal” of cumming, but the truth is that this is just one part of the process and it doesn’t have to be the be-all end-all.
If you’re experiencing erectile dysfunction from health problems such as prostate cancer or other medications, you might not even be able to achieve an erection any longer. That doesn’t mean you’re exempt from the joys of sexual stimulation, and that you should just chuck away your masturbation habits.
There are lots of success stories of penis-owners who’ve experienced lots of pleasure from masturbation without having to get hard or ejaculate. Many argue, in fact, that full-body orgasms for men are far more possible without ejaculation. The “bible” on this kind of advanced sexual practice for men is The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia.
The bottom line
Masturbation is a perfectly normal act to partake in, regardless of whether you’re in a relationship. In fact, masturbating while in a relationship can actually help you to better understand your own sexual pleasure script, which can help you know how to get off better, higher, and longer during partnered sex.
If you’re in a relationship, sometimes the subject of masturbation can be touchy (for example, those with a religious background may have judgments or misconceptions about it, or someone may have been shamed in a previous relationship for touching themself), so it’s a good idea to have an ongoing conversation with your partner about this.
Finding different ways to give yourself pleasure is both worthwhile and exciting. There’s no need to feel ashamed about your desire to masturbate, and if you’re interested in bringing your solo game to the next level, there’s a whole host of sex toys, plugs, and insertables available to help you get there.
Frequent masturbation and daily ejaculation aren’t necessarily unhealthy, unless you’re struggling with some form of sex addiction and have a crazy ejaculation frequency like 21 times a day. Regular ejaculation actually has health benefits, and boosting your sexual health can also boost your mood (it’s for mental health, you guys). Ejaculation also gives the body an opportunity to replace old semen.
Speaking of sex addiction, there are many options within sexual medicine to help you combat overindulgence or traumatic associations with sex. If you feel like your sexual activity pushes you into the realm of having an unhealthy relationship to sexuality, the sex therapist is available to help resolve this problem with you.
Frequent masturbation isn’t going to have much of an effect on your sperm count and fertility/infertility either. If you’re experiencing low sperm count, a quick rule of thumb is to address other health-based issues in your world, such as getting enough sleep, exercise, and refraining from smoking.
Now, what are you waiting for? There’s a whole world of wanking ready to wow you.
