Don’t be scared! The prostate gland is just another possible source of over-the-top pleasure waiting to be explored. Today we’re putting a much more enjoyable spin on the term “prostate exam” as we take a good long look at the P-Spot, erotic prostate massage, and really, really intense orgasms.
Question: What do a walnut, an apricot and a chestnut have in common (aside from the fact that two of them are nuts, obviously)? We’re so glad you asked! These three foods are the most-used objects used to describe the approximate dimensions of today’s article topic - the prostate gland. We have no idea why a piece of fruit and two types of nut are considered so relatable when it comes to sizing up the P-Spot, but there it is.
Otherwise known as the P-Spot or male G-Spot for some (orgasm related) similarities to the inner sweet spot many vagina owners report having, the prostate gland is a muscular organ tucked up alongside the urethra in men. It’s part of the male reproductive system - and a pretty important part, at that! We’re going to tell you why in a minute, but we’ll tell you this first: aside from being a key part of baby-making, massaging, stimulating or ‘milking’ the prostate gland is also the key to some incredible, can’t-believe-it-could-even-feel-this-great full body orgasms. Sounds good, right? Oh, fair warning, we’re going to be talking about butt stuff today. If you’re squeamish about all things anal (and we mean this in the nicest way possible), get over it, please! Lots of people put things in their butts, and more importantly, lots of people love putting things (fingers, penises, dildos, plugs, the list goes on...) in their butts. End of story.
What’s the Prostate Gland
You already know at least one fact about the prostate, and that’s its approximate size. If you’ve got one handy, grab (or just picture) a walnut/apricot/chestnut. Located a few inches into a penis owner’s rectum, the prostate gland is positioned below the bladder and around the urethra. It’s easily accessible by you, a sex toy or a partner, which we’ll definitely get into later, but since we’re picturing things, imagine inserting a finger about 2 knuckles deep and curving it upward toward your/his belly button. That’s where the prostate lives.
The prostate gland itself makes, secretes and controls the flow of prostate fluid, a sperm-protecting substance that makes up about ⅓ of semen. The muscles surrounding the prostate contract during ejaculation, which sends sperm-carrying fluid through the urethra and beyond. Fun fact, those muscles also close off the urethra from the bladder, which is why you can’t pee and have an orgasm at the same time. Pretty sure that’s something most of us can appreciate, yes?
Some other Very Important prostate functions include helping to regulate testosterone, triggering erection, neutralizing sperm-killing acidity, and, more to our point, feeling really, really good when stimulated.
What Does The Prostate Have to Do With Orgasm?
Here’s the truth we’re all here for right now: stimulating the prostate can, all by itself, trigger orgasm. How? To know that, you’ll need a quick refresher on how orgasm works. Say you or your favorite penis owner is all revved up, you’ve been fooling around, having sex, sucking, maybe stroking for a while now. It’s getting really hot, they’re into the rhythm, and the inner workings of the penis begin revving up for the big finish. There are 2 phases to orgasm, the emission stage and the expulsion stage. Emission involves semen making its way through the prostate and urethra, and signals ‘the point of no return.’ Orgasm’s coming, get ready! Expulsion happens as muscles at the base of the penis, through the pelvic floor and around the prostate gland contract rhythmically to expel/shoot/release semen. All that contraction, by the way, is why an orgasm feels so good.
So to recap, we know that contractions of the prostate are pretty darn important when it comes to - well, coming. Massaging the prostate (it’s also known as ‘milking’ and means the same thing) mimics the first stage of orgasm, where the prostate begins contracting to get that semen train moving. This makes sense, because some men say that the sensation of prostate massage feels a lot like those crazy-good seconds right before ejaculation, except it can last and last, building up slowly to a super-intense earth-shattering orgasm. In fact, an orgasm triggered by prostate massage, or prostate induced orgasm, if you prefer, can be so amazingly pleasurable that it’s sometimes known as the Super O. Intrigued?
How Do I Get to It and What Do I Do With It?
First off, there’s only one way to directly stimulate the prostate gland, and that’s by using what’s called a urethral sound. A sound is a long, thin probe that’s inserted up through the urethra. Yeah. This isn't a practise we recommend unless you're very knowledgeable. The other, much safer, well known and tried-and-true method of prostate stimulation is done via an internal massage through the anal wall, aka, your butt.
If you’re the proud owner of a prostate, chances are you’ve done a little exploration back there. Maybe your curiosity got the better of you after a certain scene in Road Trip, maybe you have or have had a partner in the know, or maybe you’ve just done your research. Either way, if you’ve spent any time in your butt, you might have already met your prostate. If not, here’s how to make the introduction using something most of us always have handy - a finger. Don’t worry, we’ll talk about toys soon!
You can make your way through these steps solo or with a partner, but you might feel more comfortable trying them out by yourself first. Your call.
1. Take a shower or hop in the tub. A clean butt is a happy butt! Not only will you be squeaky clean afterward (which can make you feel more comfortable with having someone else in the vicinity) but you’ll also be nice and relaxed. This is important!
2. Get turned on. Watch something sexy, fool around with your partner, maybe do a little stroking with your favorite masturbator. When you’re aroused, the prostate swells up with fluid to prep for orgasm. This makes it easier to feel when you’re ready to take the plunge, so to speak.
3. LUBE UP! As with all things anal, you’re going to want to have lots and lots of lube handy. Like, more than you think you’ll need. Just grab the whole bottle. Any good quality water-based lubricant will be just fine, but there are also lots of lubes specifically intended for anal play.
4. Assume the position. Hope you’ve been practising your yoga! Just kidding. You will probably need to contort yourself a bit though. The downward dog (chest down, butt up) is actually a pretty good prostate targeting position, but you can also lie on your side with one (or both) legs raised up or on your back with legs up in the air. You could also kneel, or stand with one leg up on something sturdy. The important thing is that you or your partner have easy access to your butt.
5. When you’re ready, start slow. Gently touch, knead and massage around the rectum. You want to be relaxed before venturing inside. Check your lube situation. Add more! Place your finger (pinky, probably) at the opening with the pad of the finger facing up. Penetrate at your own pace. There are 2 sphincters (bands of muscle) to pass through before you’ll be able to get to the P Spot, so be gentle with them. Breathe deep and exhale slowly to help yourself relax into the sensation. Side note: You or your partner might want to use a condom over whichever finger’s headed up your bum.
6. Once you’ve made your way past the anal sphincters, (you’ll be about two knuckles in by now) curl or bend your finger up. Imagine trying to touch your belly button from inside. If you’re in the right spot, you should feel a walnut (chestnut, apricot, whichever you prefer) sized swell. That’s the prostate gland ie. male G-spot, P-Spot, orgasm central, whatever you’d like to call it. Be gentle with it! Press, stroke, rub or circle it with the pad of your finger. Experiment. Some men say that the sensation of prostate massage feels a little/a lot weird at first, while others report feeling fantastic right off the bat. Everyone’s different.
Prostate Massager Toys and Why You Might Want One or Three
Once you’ve gotten comfy stimulating your P Spot with a finger, it’s time to graduate to a toy! If you’re in need of some extra reassurance that prostate massage is a very well known, VERY much enjoyed, and very well documented sexual practise, all you need to do is have a gander at the millions (not exaggerating!) of prostate massaging sex toys in existence. Our friends at Nexus, by the way, make some great ones.
Sex toys designed for prostate massage can make tracking down that earth shattering P Spot orgasm all the easier. That, of course, means that you can focus purely on sensation and pleasure. Win/win!
A prostate massager will generally be curvy, with a nice wide base or handle. The base is there for protection against too-deep penetration, but many P Spot massager bases also include a perineum stimulator. The perineum is that patch of skin between the balls and the butt, and FYI: it’s another source of indirect prostate pleasure. Pressing up on the perineum can stimulate the prostate in a more subtle way, no penetration required. The combination of more direct (anal) stimulation combined with indirect (perineal) pressure can be positively mind-blowing.
Prostate massagers can vibrate or not, and come in many materials. Silicone is a standby for male G-Spot massage, and glass is quickly catching up in the popularity department. Smooth plastic is also a go-to. The best prostate massagers will be firm enough to hit the spot, and, as with any anal toy, easy to clean.
A note: dildos, some anal vibes and most butt plugs, while definitely a great choice for making use of the zillions of nerve endings and pleasure places in the anal canal (we’ll dive into that topic soon enough), probably won’t target the P Spot with as much accuracy as you might want. Feel free to try though! If you do decide to try something other than a prostate massager, please make sure that it has a wide (flanged) base, or that you keep a very tight grip on it at all times.
Will Prostate Massage Make My Orgasms More Intense?
Maybe! Some P Spot massage practitioners have reported half-hour or longer orgasms, full body tremors, and even multiple climaxes with no actual ejaculation. Fun fact: some tantric teachings profess that the prostate gland is a main source of emotional and physical stress, and that massage can help release it. You can take that opinion or leave it, but for many men, release does come in the form of really amazing orgasms. We’re pretty sure we speak for everyone when we say that the potential for really amazing orgasms is something that we should all get behind!
We’re going to wind up today’s prostate exam with some encouragement from Dr. Patti Britton, a pioneering sex coach (and hilarious writer!) who penned ‘On Prostate Pleasure’, the article that helped inspire today’s topic. Dr Patti says, and we concur; “Now, bend over and have fun!”
